If you’re a woman, somewhere in your 30’s or 40’s, single, and working full-time with a promising career ahead of you, would you consider freezing your eggs?
I’m talking about your ovaries and “resetting your biological clock,” not the poultry eggs that come in a tray.
Since I read Rebecca Dana’s article “Ice Queens” in the January 2012 issue of Newsweek, I’ve been asking myself this question. I’m turning 35 this year (in fact, next month) and single (my Mom would add “unfortunately”), working full-time in a well-paying job that I enjoy (most of the time).
In said article, ABC World News anchor Diane Sawyer reportedly urges her hardworking female staff to go to a fertility clinic in New York so they can have their eggs frozen if they haven’t met a partner yet and had kids before they reach 40.
When I was in my 20s, I always thought that I would already be married with kids by the time I hit my 30’s. But things don’t go according to plan, do they?
Somewhere along the way, I pushed thoughts of marriage and family to the back burner. I went through relationships that crashed and burned. I may have been heartbroken after some of those break-ups, but I wouldn’t blame those for why I’m single up to now. My single-hood is my choice, but I don’t know yet if staying single is a decision that I would want to make. And that’s why I’m asking myself if vitrification – the new technique of freezing unfertilized eggs – is something I would consider.
I know of single women who are about my age who are hearing the loud ticking of their biological clocks and feeling desperate. I hear that ticking myself, but it doesn’t bother me. Honestly. Okay, I admit feeling a tiny jab of pressure when people that I haven’t seen for some time would ask me when I plan on getting married. It would irritate me at first, but mostly because I wish people would stop making it the first question they’d ask of me. It’s like my civil status is the most important thing about me. Please, I am more than my civil status.
But as much as I love being single and carefree and unfettered by the hassles of marriage and kids, I’m also realistic. I know that it’s highly possible I’ll get sick of single-hood somewhere down the road, and start seeking that which only a husband and kids can offer.
So yes, I would definitely freeze my eggs. You know, just in case. It’s like putting Plan B on a shelf (or in this case, a freezer) should I start feeling differently later on.
But that would only be if I’m ready to dive into the whole husband-and-kids thing before I hit 40 (which is like only 5 years away). Or maybe just kids, no hubby. Like Jennifer Aniston’s character in the movie The Switch. Find a guy with relatively ideal physical and mental traits, get his sperm and bang! You have a kid. In which case, I’d choose either James Franco and Philippines’ own Illac Diaz. If they’re willing to become donors, that is.
But vitrification is a process that’s not for everyone, especially for me. First, It’s highly expensive. In the US, it costs around $15,000, or around P600,000++, for a cycle of freezing 10 to 20 eggs. Based on what I make in a year, I’ll have to go rob a bank if I want my eggs frozen. Call it an investment for my future baby. Second, it’s not available yet here in the Philippines. I haven’t heard of any vitrification clinic here. Even if there was one, I’m sure the price wouldn’t be within my reach.
For the meantime, then, it’s plain ol’ Plan A for me: Suck the marrows of life as a single woman.